Noobs Are Coming Review Summary

Last updated: 2026-08-30
Review summary
  • Inferior clone of Brotato
  • Highly entertaining and addictive
  • Wide character variety
  • Game is too easy
  • Numerous bugs and issues
  • Play Brotato instead
Noobs Are Coming header

Categories

RoguelikeBullet-hellCooperative MultiplayerCharacter ProgressionSynergy-based CombatEndless ModeLocal Co-op

Emotions

Archetypes

Hardware

Windows <8GB VRAMnegative

Timed cohorts

Switch between playtime slices of churn risk.

Refund churn

Risk snapshot

Fast read on churn risk and the loudest complaints.

90.7% PrecisionJul 16, 2025 → Aug 22, 2026
Total revenue at risk
$69,305

~$5,169 per month

Modeled from refund-intent reviews

Most dangerous issue
Undisclosed AI Art

Business · 10.7% of risk

Churn driver breakdown

Weighted by churn risk

$69,305
Design
Business
Technical
73.6%$50,987
17.3%$11,970
9.2%$6,349
Issue map

Complaint treemap

Normalized churn drivers sized by volume; click to inspect a cluster.

Issue treemap
Design · 75.3% share
Business · 15.1% share
Technical · 9.6% share
Issue · Design
Brotato Clone Not Worth
Share of issues
9.6%
Primary region
United States
Detected from language cues
Anger level
Annoyed
Average sentiment intensity